First, let me interject that I don't necessarily think that having a star registered in a loved one's name is wrong or stupid. Actually, I still feel the same way I did when I first heard about the idea: it could be a sweet, romantic thing to do. If it were marketed that way, then I'd probably not be so cheesed by the stupid ads, but it's not, and I am.

The latest spot I've heard is from a company with a name that sounds a lot like a government agency. Their "legitimacy" twist is that the record of stars and their namesakes will "be registered in book form with the U.S. Copyright Office". Seems impressive and official, doesn't it? Not quite. Do you know what it takes to get a copyright? Here's a quick example:

First, write something copyrightable. That is, it must be sufficiently large that someone else can't violate your copyright accidentally, and it must be original. Next, put it into printed form, or don't - it doesn't matter. Finally, bask in the glory of your new property. Oooh, impressive, huh? Big deal.

So, what this advertisement boils down to is this: they will take your money and write your name down.

Please allow me to make an even better offer: Think of something inherently un-ownable, and send me half of the money that one of these companies is asking for their "service". I'll be more than happy to record your name in an official ledger that I'll copyright as soon as enough names have accumulated.

-- KirkStrauser - 21 May 2003